New Horizons
by PurpleSheep
Summary: Set inbetween TR:2013 & Rise of the Tomb Raider. Sam isn't coping following the traumatic events of Yamatai; and neither is Lara. This story is looking at the possible steps following Yamatai leading to therapy and adventure.
1. Calm After the Storm

**Chapter One: Calm After the Storm**

_Fire. Fire everywhere. She couldn't _breathe_. Golden flames where licking at her ankles and she couldn't stand the heat; it sent her pulse racing. She couldn't find an exit. Pure panic consumed her as adrenaline coursed through her legs; she darted. She could barely see beyond her outstretched arms, the thick smoke obscuring her vision. The ash scorched her throat; each breath making it raw, each breath becoming more ragged. Her gasping breath was coming in short bursts, and her mind was becoming sluggish from the lack of air. _You need to _move _girl, you need to _move_. _She could _feel _rather than hear the building creek around her. She was terrified. Her vision was pulsating and she fell to her knees, the smouldering floor charring her hands and knees. This was it. Her face met the floor and she swears she could hear it _sizzle. _Tears leaked from her heavy lids, she watched the room glow around her. _

_A pair of battered boots stepped into her vision and her stomach dropped. _Mathias. _The solid kick to her side drew all air from her and she lost consciousness temporarily. A deep chuckle reverberated around her skull and when she opened her eyes her heart stopped. He cocked the pistol and fired. _

Hands latched onto her shoulders. "_Lara!"_

_Who was Lara? _Everything was dark. She was distantly aware of a girl sobbing, ragged breaths coming in bursts. Her heart was pounding. She couldn't breathe properly. She shook her head to try and clear it, only to feel something wet trail down her face. _Where was she? _Consciousness was rushing to the surface and she became acutely aware that she was tangled up; her side ablaze.

Her eyes flew open to find Sam directly above her, her small hands pushing on her shoulders, and tears brimming on her lower lashes. It was all of a sudden very clear that the jagged breaths where emanating between her _own _lips. She choked back a sob. _It was a dream _she thought_. _She squeezed her eyes together and sucked in a deep breath, attempting to calm her racing heart. She needed to be back in control. There was a dull roar flaring up in her abdomen, she bit her lip and screwed up her eyes to distract herself from the throbbing.

"Hey it's okay" Sam soothed, relaxing the hold on Lara's shoulders but not letting go completely. "You gave me quite the fright" she said, a nervous laugh creeping up her throat. The amusement didn't reach her eyes though. In fact her face was full of worry. Tears still clung to her lashes and her skin was deathly pale. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and waited patiently for Lara to calm down, rubbing small circles where her thumbs rested on her collarbone. _She hated this. _Lara's nightmares were becoming a regular occurrence.

The deep breaths steadied Lara's heart but she still kept her eyes scrunched up tight. This was _embarrassing. _Yamatai was still exceptionally fresh; her wounds were tender and the drugs clouded her usually sharp mind. She wasn't coping. She was well and truly on her way to falling apart.

"I'm sorry Sam" Lara said eventually, her voice cracking in her raw throat. She brought up her hands and baled fists into her eyes to dry away her remaining tears.

Sam relocated her hand to Lara's thigh and gave a firm squeeze. "What are you apologising for Sweetie? Is it that British side coming out again?" she chuckled, a little too forcefully.

The archaeologist attempted to push herself into a sitting position, but flinched before she even lifted her shoulders off the pillow. A drawn out growl left her lips. Concern immediately crossed Sam's features. She began to untangle she sheets twisted around Lara's torso. A dark irregular stain stood out from her white vest top. _"Shit" _Sam breathed, her eyes frozen over the spot.

Lara swiftly brought up her hand to assess the damage but it was intercepted by Sam's cool fingers wrapping around her wrist, she placed it by her side again. "No... No don't touch it sweetie" Sam began, panic edging its way into her voice. "Let me have a look at it" she said hurriedly.

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was feeling woozy. _Don't Nishimura. You need to do this._

She slowly pulled up the top, the fabric peeling away with ease. A whimper escaped Lara's lips and Sam quickly issued an apology. The majority of her wound was neatly sealed, save for a small split in the middle of the stitching. It should heal itself; it had just bled out quite a bit. Sam pushed back a wave of nausea and breathed a sigh of relief.

"It just needs redressing sweetie, it's just a small tear" Sam reassured her. "It should heal fine on it's... Lara?" She glanced back up at Lara's face to find it contorted into a grimace. "Hey, hey look at me babe". She moved her position up the bed and brushed Lara's fringe out of her eyes, keeping a hand resting on her cheek.

Lara's breathing was deep and laboured. Her eyes remained tightly shut and she firmly shook her head. Sam stared down at her face. A thin sheen of sweat coated her forehead and neck, her face shone pale in the moonlit room. The pulse in her neck was racing; Sam could _see _it jumping there. She recognised the symptoms just as Lara's breathing sped up.

"Sweetie you..." was as far as Sam got before Lara's resolve broke. She was gulping air erratically; a whine had been building in her throat as panic set in.

"Oh God Sam. _Oh God._ It won't go away. I can't... I can't". Tears poured from her eyes. "_I can't do this". _She brought her hands up to her face and covered it with them.

"Lara, you need to listen. Take deep breaths for me. You're panicking, I _need _you to breathe" Sam pushed down on her shoulders to try and minimise any further damage to Lara's side. That was the last thing they both needed right now.

"It hurts Sam, it hurts so much" Lara gasped. The way she said it sounded rather ambiguous. _Did she mean her side? _Sam thought. She brushed her fringe out of her eyes and hushed her, whispering soothing words; allowing Lara to calm herself.

She eventually gathered herself. With the last few deep breathes she looked directly at Sam and she could feel her resolve break all over again as she saw the worry in her eyes. Warmth filled her chest. _Sam cared about her. _It was a lovely realisation. This bubbly, chatty girl cared about how she was; and it was startling, yet heartbreaking at the same time. With her emotions on a high she had to hold back the tears again.

"You want to talk about it?" Sam questioned; concern still present on her face. She knew Lara wasn't one for talking about her feelings, but she seemed so overwhelmed right now, she might want to get it out of her system.

The two girls stared silently at one another for a few moments, one in concern, the other in sorrow. Lara pulled her lip between her teeth, her eyebrows meeting at the middle. "Come here" she said simply, pushing back the sheets to make room for Sam to squeeze in next to her. She didn't move.

"It scares me you know", said Sam, studying Lara's face in the dim light of the room. "When you have nightmares like that. It's terrifying to know that you're trapped in your mind, and there's nothing I can do other than watch and pray you'll wake up soon". Tears were returning in her eyes and Lara felt her heartstrings being pulled. "To watch you twist and turn, and the things you say..." she trailed off. She turned her head towards her lap.

Lara didn't know what to say. She didn't realise that Sam was so affected by her nightmares. It never once crossed her mind. To now hear this girl confessing this, to hear this insight was somewhat crushing. She felt a frown forming over her face and she stared intently at the top of Sam's head, her face hidden from view. She repeated herself, "come here, please", her eyes imploring. She had no words right now.

Sam's face relaxed slightly, her anxieties not completely gone. She worried her lip again, as if in thought. She shook her head to herself. "Let me fix up your side first sweetie, then I'm all yours" a genuine smile graced Sam's face and Lara couldn't help the corner of her own mouth tug upwards. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded on the exhale. She felt Sam's weight leave the bed.

She stared up at the ceiling trying to rid her head of the dream; she knew she wouldn't be sleeping any time soon, it_ always_ was the case. She reached her hand out to where her lamp was and flicked the switch. She had to scrunch her eyes shut at the discomfort the light brought; instead she stared to finger her bandage ready to pull it off.

She could hear the bathroom door close as Sam's footsteps made their path back up to their room. When she entered Lara could see her fringe curtaining her face, a glimpse of her skin revealed that it very pale beyond it. By the time she padded across the room to sit back on the bed Lara could see her eyes were red-rimmed. _She'd been crying. _

"Sam". She refused to look Lara in the eye. "Sam please don't be upset". She hastily brushed her wrist over her cheek and sucked in a breath, glancing up at Lara. "Let's get this off shall we?" a strained smile on her face. Lara knew better than to push it, they'd talk _later. _

With her side still being sore, removing the adhesive padding was more uncomfortable than Lara would have liked. She found clenching her teeth helped _somewhat. _It was when Sam applied the antiseptic that white flashed behind her eyes. She cried out and curled into her side, her breathing uneven.

It was the sniffle she heard from Sam which forced her to pry her eyes open. Again her hair was covering most of her face, she was distracting herself with unwrapping the new dressing; hands shaking. Lara reached out and steadied them. _"let me finish this Lara", _her voice was wobbly. Lara let Sam place the bandage before she whispered "stay with me". She _needed _her.

The expression on Sam's face then was unreadable. It unnerved Lara. She seemed to be studying her face. Before Lara could fathom it Sam was moving the unused items from the first aid kit to the bedside table, her face shielded once more.

Sam shifted on the bed, placing herself next to Lara and untangled the sheets so she could get in with her. Lying down on her back she pulled up the sheets and stared at the ceiling, her eyes glazed over.

Lara felt out of her depth. They'd done this many times before, yet things had changed now. They'd both been through so much, and it was beginning to show. She didn't know what to say to Sam anymore. Instead she reached her hand out beneath the sheets and wrapped her little finger around Sam's, and old gesture they shared.

Sam's eyes closed, she seemed to be struggling with herself. She rolled on her side to face Lara, entwining their fingers together. "Thank you", breathed Lara. She didn't know what else to say. Sam inhaled as if to say something but seemed to decide against it. She simply drew a small smile.

They stayed like that for a long while, Lara didn't realise she was drifting off to sleep until Sam murmured "I can't sleep properly anymore". Lara twitched into consciousness and focused her eyes towards Sam. A shaft of moonlight fell across her hair, and she could see her eyes glittering in the dark. She sounded so lost.

"Me too" Lara replied. There seemed to be a mutual understanding in the silence that followed. Sam shifted her weight and edged closer to Lara, tucking her head into the crook of her neck and drawing her free arm across her ribcage; Lara's arm wrapping her against her side.

"I don't know how we're going to get through this" Lara whispered into Sam's hair, kissing the crown of her head. She brought up her hand and twirled Sam's dark locks absentmindedly.

Sam's own fingers had started drawing patterns on Lara's side; the sensation was pleasing in contrast to the pain she'd been in recently. "I... I've been thinking..." Sam began; she left the sentence hanging deliberately. She pulled her head up and gazed down at Lara's face. At this close proximity she could see the spit in Lara's lip still yet to heal completely. "I don't think we can do this on our own". She paused, watching Lara's face closely for any reaction. Her brows were coming together and Sam knew she'd lost the battle before it had begun. She started to blurt out everything as fast as she could.

"You've been getting worse, and I don't know how to fix this. I can't bear to see you like this, not any more... and I... I'm not coping", her breath hitched on her last word and she pulled her head down, choosing to focus instead on Lara's green pendant. Her eyes filled with tears and spilled down her cheeks.

Lara felt her throat tighten at the sight; she was never any good at dealing with an emotional Sam. It broke her heart. "Sam I..." her voice cracked as her resolve was breaking. _Don't you dare Croft. _"I don't want help from anyone else. I can't talk about it yet. I just need more time". Sam's shoulders began to shake and Lara knew she'd said the wrong thing. "Sam... Sam look at me". She refused, instead gulping in a deep breath and letting out a sob, followed by another one, her face back in Lara's neck.

Lara held her firmly against her as she shook, dragging her fingers through her hair in an attempt to sooth her; she was blinking back her own tears. "I don't want you to feel like this" she said softly into Sam's ear. "If you think talking to a therapist will help you then I'll support that, but I can't do that yet, it's... it's not me".

She heard an intake of breath and felt Sam's shoulders rise. Sam nodded into her chest and whimpered one last time. Lara pushed her shoulders back to look her in the eyes. The early morning glow revealed them to be bloodshot and watery. She reached out and brushed a thumb over Sam's cheek to wipe away the remaining tears, pulling her lips into a taught smile.

"We'll get through this babe, we have to" Lara said, her eyes fixed over Sam's. Sam returned her own forced smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. She snuggled her head back into Lara before she had chance to question the look. "I sure hope so sweetie" was her response. The way she said it was somewhat detached.

Lara pushed out a sigh and made herself comfortable against Sam, deciding that a resolution wouldn't be found tonight. Sam's fingers had returned to the base of her ribs and were taunting her with slow ticklish swirls. Lara allowed her eyes to slip shut to enjoy the sensitivity it brought. She missed times like this at university, when they'd be dreadfully hung-over and seeking comfort in one another alongside a lazy Sunday afternoon film. Even when she felt rotten Sam was criticising the camerawork. It's what Lara loved about Sam, the fine line between party girl and the passion she held for her work.

Things had changed.

Sam twitch against her as sleep consumed her, her fingers idly resting below her breast. Lara didn't usually experience so much comfort from another person; that was Sam's forte to bring back guests at early hours, something which Lara never felt wholly comfortable about. Glancing down she could see Sam's porcelain face pressed up against her breast, her nose squished up. She looked _cute. _The thought wasn't unusual to Lara, in-fact it was ever increasing ever since Yamatai. She wasn't sure how that made her feel.

She placed a tender kiss on Sam's forehead, a soft moan escaping the older woman. She nestled herself into her pillows, turning her body to embrace Sam, their legs tangling.

She cleared her mind and focused on Sam's even breathing as it blew against her neck. She was _far _too comfortable. The threshold of their friendship was becoming more questionable in her mind. For now Lara couldn't care less. They both needed this.

She allowed her conscious to be pulled down into darkness, her worries temporarily departing her mind.

She slept soundly.


	2. Coping Mechanisms

**Chapter Two: Coping Mechanisms**

The weather was dismal, fitting for autumn in England. The rain was hammering down on the streets and the clouds cast an eerie gloom which was only erased by the tiny house lights.

Footfalls slapped down on the sodden pavements as a young girl hurried home. A dark hood was pulled tight over her fringe at no avail, the blustery gale allowed the water to penetrate through the cloth and run down her neck. Her other arm cradled a haversack to her chest, her body arched around it to protect it from the weather.

She turned the final corner and ran up the steps leading to her flat, her numb fingers fumbling around her pocket for the key. The warmth of the entrance hall was welcoming. She pushed back the hood and brushed wet hair away from her cheeks.

A quick inspection of her bag confirmed that the books had survived the rainy journey from the library; a sigh of relief escaped her lips.

She had been frequenting the library ever since that night with Sam. For some reason she couldn't stop the conversation running through her head. _"I don't think we can do this on our own... I'm not coping". _The anguish on Sam's face was burned into her retinas, and she couldn't face it. It would catch her off-guard when she was completing the most mundane tasks. Her heart would skip and dread would sink in place.

It was easier when she was researching, she could burry herself in her archaeology and nothing could penetrate her. Not even Sam. She knew this wasn't healthy.

She had reached her flat door; a faint melancholic tune could be heard on the other side. She paused, her hand covering the handle. Nerves were bubbling inside of her as she rested her forehead against the doorframe. _Please be in a good mood Sam. _As much as she wanted this she knew that there was little chance of it. A sombre atmosphere had been hovering in the flat for days and showed no signs of lifting. She _didn't _know how to fix this, she was broken too.

The latched clicked and she pushed the door open. The whole flat was in darkness. She threw her keys in the bowl and placed her bag against the couch.

"Sam?" She said into the darkness. There was no answer over the hum of music. She flicked on a lamp and tugged off her jacket with some difficulty, setting it on the radiator to dry. Her boots followed.

"Sam I'm back" she repeated. Again there was no answer. She glanced down the short corridor leading where the music was emanating from. She didn't like the ambience of the flat.

She took a hesitant step towards the passage, her pace was slow. She could see a faint glow coming from the end of the corridor that she recognised from a laptop screen. _She must be at the table. _She moved forwards, the room coming into view.

She found Sam. She was sitting at the table with her back towards her. Her body was silhouetted by the digital light, the sight was somewhat _sinister. _She edged closer to view the screen over her shoulder. There where old photographs on the monitor, images of herself and Sam in Bulgaria. She was flicking through them slowly and deliberately, as if taking in every little detail.

She settled on one. Lara remembered the details of image well. They had been camping on the outskirts of the village Devetaki, close to Devetáshka cave. Lara had insisted that they visit the local karst system; the history of human occupancy there over thousands of years was _fascinating. _Sam agreed to the excursion on the premise that they were to have a heavy drinking session once they had arrived at the local village.

"_Fuck" Lara said under her breath. They were five pints down and stumbling back out of town to find their tent. Sam's arm was thrown haphazardly around her neck. Lara clutched at the hand resting on her shoulder. _

_Sam giggled into her neck, her ticklish breath sending a shiver down her spine. "Where-" another giggle. "Where did we put the tent sweetie?" she slumped heavily into Lara's side. _

_Lara scoured the horizon. "I..." She was sure it was somewhere around here, it was too dark to see. "I'm not... sure Sam" a hiccup. "I can't see a bloody thing". _

_As if affirming what Lara said, Sam pulled her face out of Lara's neck to assess the area. "Oh..." she said. They had come to a standstill. There was silence for a few seconds before Sam inhaled sharply, a light bulb moment. _

"_Lara! Use, we can use my camera. It has. It has a. The lights. It can see the dark". _

_It didn't sink in immediately what Sam was talking about, her mind was sluggish – this was _why _she didn't drink. _

"_Sam, you're a genius, a bloody genius". She pulled herself away from the girl and turned her towards her, patting down her sides to find where it was clipped to her belt. _

_Sam swayed and leaned her head on Lara's shoulder, her arms resting around Lara's waist. "Let's just... stay here" mumbled Sam. "It's comfy, you're comfy". She snuggled further into Lara. _

"_Sam, we'll freeze" she replied, fumbling around her hips – she found the clip. "-And we won't get a good night's sleep here, and we're caving in the morning-"._

"_Lara" Sam had turned her head into Lara's neck. "Shh. Just-"she kissed her neck. Lara froze. _

_She giggled again and pulled back, eyes level with Lara's. "You're-" a hiccup. "You're so uptight sweetie. You're not even sober!" she threw her arms into the air as if to emphasise the fact. She grabbed the camera in Lara's hands and opened screen. _

_Lara was staring at her, arms slack at her sides. Sam was _way _too smashed, and she didn't even realise it. The camera was suddenly in her face, a little red light glaring at her. _

"_Smile sweetie!" Sam was back at her side and placing a kiss on her cheek. It was fleeting. She pulled away to face the camera, just as Lara turned to face her. The flash alerted her to the fact that she wasn't ready for the snapshot. _

_Before she knew it Sam had turned the screen around and had opened the photo gallery to view the selfie. It was... _cute. _Sam's dark fringe, messy over her glazed eyes. Her head tilted into the crook of Lara's neck, lips parted in a toothy grin, dimples on the edges of her mouth..._

_And herself? Her blushing cheek faced the camera. Her hair falling out of its tie and loose tendrils were scattered about her face. Her eyes were dark with something she couldn't quite place... there was a tiny curl at the corner of her mouth. She loved it. They looked _good _together. _

"_Awesome" said Sam. "I knew... I- fuck. I knew this was the camera. This was the one. Look at the... look at the resolution. It's a good camera... to shoot in the dark with". She was adorable. Beyond intoxicated and she was still passionate about her media. _

_She turned her head towards Lara sharply with a beaming grin on her face. "Let's check out the flashlight! Apparently, apparently it can throw _30 feet_" She placed heavy emphasis on the distance, a look of wonderment on her face. "We'll find home in no time". She was right. _

Sam moved her hand away from the touchpad and reached out towards the side of the monitor. A bottle of vodka followed. A _half empty _bottle of vodka. Panic and confusion consumed Lara. _Why was she drinking? On her own? _That was too much.

Lara placed her hand on Sam's shoulder just as the American girl placed the lip of the bottle to her own.

"Hey" Sam startled, vodka dribbling down her chin. She span around on her chair to face Lara. Her eyes were glassy, red rimmed. She was looking through Lara, unable to focus.

"Lara!?" she spluttered out. The surprised on her face was evident, uninhibited. She hastily turned back around and closed the image from her screen. When she faced her again there was a clumsy smile set up in place.

"You're home" she observed, her smile widening. She threw her arms around Lara's midsection pulling her close. "You were gone so long" she mumbled into her stomach.

Lara stared down at the mane of dark hair for a moment before threading her fingers through it. "Are you alright Sam?" She enunciated her words clearly, all her years working at the Nine Bells she found it was the best way to communicate with drunks.

"I'm fine" she drew this out with a deep breath. The tone was dismissive. It worried Lara.

"Why are you... drinking Sam?" She was aware that she had to tread lightly around her right now; past experience taught her that one wrong move and she would wall up. She would never ignore Lara; she was just aptly skilled at diverting the conversation. Many emotional drunken escapades at university often ended up with a teary Sam dragging her back onto the dance floor, fresh drink in hand and body moving in perfect rhythm to the bass. _This _was how Sam dealt with her problems – she didn't.

The music from her laptop changed; the tempo still slow, one which Lara recognised. "I _love _this one" stated Sam; she pulled back, the corners of her mouth twitching up. A sad smile.

She glazed up at Lara. "Dance with me?" _Wrong move Croft. _

"Sam I-" before she could finish Sam was on her feet, Lara's hand in her own. She took a swig of vodka and turned the volume up.

"Sam don't do this" she insisted. "Talk to me".

A finger was placed on her lips; Sam's face barely an inch from her own. Her pupils were blown wide.

"Sweetie" It was barely a breath. Her eyes were intense, set on her own. There was a slight shake of her head.

Lara pushed out a sigh and closed her eyes in defeat. She would get nowhere with her in this state.

She felt arms wrap around her neck and Sam's cheek brush her own and she settled her chin on her shoulder. She embraced the warmth and folded her own arms around Sam's petite waist, breathing in her perfume.

Sam had started rocking against her, a slow sway. She matched the rhythm.

Several minutes had passed when Sam broke their silence. "I wish we could go back" she murmured, her voice was lost.

Lara pulled her in tighter, curling her fingers through her hair. She couldn't talk about this now. "Sam you're drunk-"

"For_ fuck_ sake Lara!" Her tone was stern. She had pulled away, her glassy eyes burning holes into her own, a frown covering her forehead.

"_When _are we going to talk about it? Because at this rate I'll be dead before you consider it". She brought her hands up to Lara's collarbones and clutched at the fabric there.

"You're always fucking off and leaving me in this _fucking _flat. I _can't _be alone Lara, I can't-" Her voice broke. She shook her head and cast it downward. "I can't do this".

Lara stared at the older girl. Her emotions were conflicted; it was breaking her heart looking at her, _feeling _her tremble. But she couldn't face this now, she _couldn't _face Yamatai again.

"My heads all mixed up" she glanced back up at Lara. "Sometimes I don't know if what's happening is real, it's like she's still in my head" She swallowed thickly.

"Sam she's gone, of course she isn't there" She said it forcefully, as if saying it with meaning would make it true. It frightened her what Sam had just revealed.

"I can't stop thinking about it, how it felt..." she trailed off, her eyes becoming distant. She turned abruptly reaching out for the vodka. She managed a mouthful before Lara stopped her.

"_Sam"_ She pulled the bottle from her grasp, the American girl's head hanging in defeat. "This-" she brought the bottle into her line of sight. "This won't help".

"You were there for me" She said it so quietly Lara almost missed it. She drew in a shaky breath. "I thought that was it. I was fucked. And you just- you fucking _saved me"_ Her head tilted to the side to look at Lara.

"You nearly fucking _died _for me, and you- you're not here for me now".

Lara felt her stomach drop. The sorrow in Sam's eyes was deep, too deep for someone her age.

Tears were trailing down her cheeks and dripping from her chin. She stepped forwards and brushed them away with her thumbs.

"I'm so sorry Sam" It was barely a whisper. "I'm not-" She swallowed hard over the thick lump forming in her throat. "I'm not who you think I am-"

"I need you" It was a desperate murmur, her hands moving behind her neck and locking themselves there. She was shaking her head. She looked so small in that moment.

"I need you, I-" Their lips met.

Lara froze. Eyes wide open, her hands still resting on Sam's wet cheeks. _What was she- _but Sam moved her lips and she felt it in her stomach, pulling her in. Her eyes slipped shut.

Her mouth responded, their lips finding a rhythm. Teeth drew her full lower lip between Sam's and she couldn't help the hitch in her breath when she nipped down. _This was wrong. This was so so wrong-_

Her tongue traced her lip and Lara couldn't stop herself allowing it into her hot mouth. Her hands left Sam's face, one cupping behind her head, drawing her in closer, the other dropping to the small of her back, pulling her flush to her front.

Sam's finger tips were tracing over her collarbone, tracing down her ribcage, resting on her hip.

Their breath was heavy between them. Sam leaning heavily into her, hands fumbling at the base of her top, palms feeling up to the dip at her waistline.

Lara pulled her lips away, foreheads resting momentarily before Sam's lips descended on her cheek, to her jaw, to her neck. She couldn't stop the moan escaping her mouth. Her cheeks coloured.

"Sam" Her voice sounded so breathy, she liked it. It didn't help that Sam was flicking her tongue over her pulse point, cushioned between plump lips.

"Sam we shouldn't- you're drunk..." A thigh slid between her own, another shameful whimper elicited from her mouth when it reached the apex of her legs.

Hands traversed the contours of her body, moving towards her breast, lips now on her collarbone. Something triggered in Lara.

"_Sam" _She forced her consciousness out of the well of lust, her hands grabbing onto Sam's forearms. She felt Sam flinch and it wasn't until she ran her thumb over the inside of her arm did she realise why.

There was a mark. It felt raised and rough to the touch. She glanced down, pulling her arm into view. A red welt was visible from the streetlight pouring in through the window. It looked like a burn, a _fucking burn._ She stopped breathing.

Sam was hastily trying to pull the mark out of view, but it was too late.

"What the fuck is this?" All traces of lust had left her voice. Panic and fear had filled it instead. She wouldn't let go of her arm.

"It's nothing Lara" Her tone was absolute. She didn't want her to know about this.

Drunk Sam was a terrible liar. The lack of eye contact, her tone of voice. She was so obvious.

"Let's just..." Her lips came up to meet hers again.

Lara pulled away, glaring at her. "You did this to yourself, didn't you?" The question was rhetorical. She was in disbelief. How could she... _fuck. _

Sam's eyes filled with tears once again, her hand coming up to cover the mark.

"I didn't-" Her voice was tiny.

"Don't lie to me Sam!"

Blood was pumping hard around her body, she could _hear _it in her ears. Her breathing picked up, she didn't know how she looked in that moment but she could _tell _she was scaring Sam.

"Don't you fucking lie to me. How- why did you?" Her throat was tight.

She looked ashamed, like a dirty secret had just been revealed – _it had. _

"I wasn't thinking straight" She began, her voice was rocky.

"Yamatai was so fucked up, it _fucked _me up. I couldn't stop these images in my head. I was so scared there. I keep getting stuck on one memory" She swallowed.

"I was in the temple, and you were still stuck in that room. There was so much fire it _hurt" _Her eyes were distant, as if recollecting the events.

"There were so many stupid thoughts running through my head, I'd never felt so close to death on that island. You _shouldn't _forget something like that" Her voice was becoming increasingly strained. Lara relaxed her hold on her arm somewhat.

"I thought maybe if I felt like that again, felt the heat I mean, it might stop the memories..." She shrugged self-consciously and drew her eyes away, tears not quite ready to fall.

The Englishwoman was at a loss for what to say. Her heart was beating fast, the erratic flutters of a caged bird in her chest. She ran her thumb over the burn gently, willing it to heal as quickly as it had been made.

She had to fix her.

Wordlessly she gathered her in her arms, lips trembling. She felt Sam quiver in her arms. "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend lately" She barely squeezed it out before her shoulders began to shake, the tail-end breaking into a sob.

She buried her face into Sam's neck, clutching at her tightly. _She couldn't lose her again._

The American girl clung to her just as eagerly, her own muffled sobs being poured onto her shoulder. This isn't how it should be. This wasn't fair.

Sam's knees gave way and Lara held her close for their descent to the floor; their bodies leaning against the kitchen unit. Sam was tucked neatly between Lara's legs, hands balled up beneath her chin, the Englishwoman's jaw resting against the older girl's forehead. She tangled her fingers through dark hair, her other hand drawing small patterns on her arm.

Everything was so fragile right now, they were _crumbling. _Having this girl shaking in her arms was a wakeup call. Yamatai shouldn't be claiming victim's weeks after they'd left the Godforsaken place.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, her own solemn tears making tracks. Sam's shudders lessened enough for her to pull back. Balls of her palms running over her face to dry away the tears.

Her gaze rested on Lara's face. She reached up to brush away the remains of the younger girl's tears, her hand resting over her cheek.

She looked a mess. Hair sticking up at odd angles and her eyes heavily red rimmed.

"I care about you so much Lara" Her eyes dropped to her lips for a fleeting moment before finding her eyes again. She licked her lips. "But I can't keep living like this, it's killing me".

"I know Sam" She said softly, tucking some stray hair behind her ear. "I don't want that, I can't. I'll... we'll get help, I didn't realise you weren't coping as well as I thought" She was twirling the tips of Sam's hair between her fingers. She felt defeated.

"I can't do this on my own" Whispered Sam. Her tone was desperate.

"You won't" she said. She'd make sure of that, even if it meant facing her own demons.


End file.
